Swimming In My Head…

diving in the deep end…

Driving School

11:46 – Driving back from the vet’s office with food for Patrick & Asher despite their plots to kill me while I sleep.

11:48 – Almost home.  See a cream colored Toyota heading directly for the front end of my land destroyer.

11:48.03 – Sounding horn, flashing lights, can’t see a head on the driver of the Toyota shaped missile headed my way.  Only see two hands.

11:48.05 – Pull into arbitrary stranger’s yard to avoid driving over Toyota shaped missile.  As unmanned vehicle passes, I realize it’s not a drone sent out by the military to kill me per my cats’ orders, it’s someone’s cute little grandmother seated well below the dashboard and driving down the middle of the street that she must own, flip-down sunglasses (it’s raining today), and be-bopping like she’s at a Madonna concert.

God, I love living here.

January 13, 2009 Posted by | Funny, Life In General | , , , , | 4 Comments

Lesson learned – Patrick doesn’t want to enlist…

This is Patrick…

Patrick after a long hard day of napping...

Patrick after a long hard day of napping...

We learned a valuable life lesson about Patrick yesterday.  He doesn’t want to go into the military.

We purchased this outfit for him to wear on Thanksgiving with all of the visitors…

Patrick's military uniform

Patrick

So we put his uniform on him and he tears out of the dining room, through the kitchen, out through the ‘sliders’ and onto the lanai where he proceeds to run into one of the posts supporting the screen.  It was at this point that our older cat Asher thinks that he’s being attacked by a larger than normal lizard and they both somehow settle into this ritual that only cats can come up with – they ran around the pool, one right behind the other 3 times before Patrick ran into the house and up the stairs to his favorite nightclub (behind the sofa in the sitting room).

You would’ve thought that a Saint Bernard was chasing the 2 of them…when we finally caught up with Patrick to help him out of his ‘soon-to-be-donated-to-the-Salvation-Army’ kitty uniform, he was obviously unhappy with us both.

We’re still in the litter box for this one…so, I’m not letting him sleep in the bedroom tonight…because he really may succeed in killing me tonight…

November 24, 2008 Posted by | Funny, Life In General | , , , , | 5 Comments