Swimming In My Head…

diving in the deep end…

…Been so long…

I can’t believe I haven’t posted anything on here since April. This was truly my outlet and allowed me the opportunity to let go of some of the things that were literally ‘swimming in my head’.

Had to let it go for a time to focus all of my energy on growing the business especially because the economy was seemingly sending it the other way.

Truly learning that the universe works in mysterious ways though. June was a month of getting reacquainted with people that I haven’t seen in over 15 years and getting reacquainted with myself.

Where I thought I had analyzed the situation enough to figure out why these people had reentered my life, I’m finding out that the reason may not be as obvious as I thought.

Through those recent reunions, I’ve had the pleasure of meeting and starting to get to know some amazing people; one of which is Traci (click her name for her blog which is an amazing read).  As a matter of fact, Traci was the inspiration/motivation to unearth the personal blog again.

I’m not sure exactly where everything is heading on all fronts, but what I’ve learned and gained in the way of knowledge and phenomenal people in my life, makes up for the uncertainty.

I’m just going to go with it and see where it takes me…

July 16, 2009 Posted by | Life In General | , , , | 4 Comments

This One’s Gonna Be a ‘Doosey’

It has been a hot minute since I’ve written in my beloved blog and I’ve missed it.  Before I go any further…WTF, Gbu2, Brian, Sideon and Sammy – thank you for the emails and concern.  I’ve missed you guys too!

As Patsy said in AbFab ~ “I’m fine I’m just here with a sick friend” (internal laughter)

The reality is I’ve been absolutely consumed with a business retool/refocus and we’ve actually got some decent clients that require a good part of my time.  So, the reality is that I cannot complain because the good far out-ways the bad in this instance.

Now onto the all-important stuff…

Let’s see, I’ve been on Twitter so much that I dream in Twitter.  I literally have dreams where I’m responding to situations by tweeting a message in 140 characters or less.  It’s like a drug except that it doesn’t cause tooth loss.  The weight loss, sleeplessness, and paranoia are minor side effects that should simply be ignored due to the overwhelming good that Twitter can bring to one’s life.

I’ll admit that there are some real “ass-hats” (thanks Sammy25) out there that think they’re suddenly ‘Twitterstars’ or ‘Twelebrities’ (whichever floats your boat) and they’re really nothing more than hot-air filled pompous boneheads that like to hear themselves talk…except now they can see themselves talk.  But that’s what makes the Twitter experience what it is.  Can I hear a “block, block”?

I’m all about the visuals since I’m in the multimedia business and I thought that for every major point I discuss in this post, I’ll give you some visuals and some audio thrown in to keep it interesting.

For all of you that think us tweeters are crazy…here’s your proof that you’re only partially right.  If it wasn’t for our being crazy, who would entertain you?

Which now leads me to what I think should be the anthem (song) for all of us in the twitterdom on the pilgramage to the promised twitterverse…Don’t judge me!

Oh, I’m not even close to being finished…then there’s Facebook……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Sorry, I must’ve drifted off post while I was updating my Facebook status.

You know what?  I’ll save my ‘Facebookapades’ for another post.  In the meantime…one more good piece of media.  I’m completely addicted to this somewhat recent remix of an old favorite – “Silence (Niels Van Gogh Vs. Thomas Gold Mix 2008)” by Delirium featuring Sarah Mclachlan.  It’s been on repeat the entire time I’ve been writing this post and between my tweets, status updates, pings, diggs, stumbleupons, flocks, this blog and the damn beats – it’s time for me to bid you farewell until tomorrow for which I’m scheduled to write yet another post right before my nail appointment.  I’m having them optimized for enhanced keyboard use.

April 9, 2009 Posted by | Funny, Life In General | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

A statement about the state of the nation…

I reluctantly watched the state of the nation last night and was actually very moved.  I was reluctant because for whatever reasons, I’ve got a complete and almost paralyzing fear of what will happen if President Obama ends up doing what most other politicians doing – making a lot of promises and not delivering.

My mistake was watching the address on the CNN/Facebook collaboration.  What I observed was interesting however.  There were obviously a lot of supporters, but there were still those disgusting jerks who had to make their hateful comments about Dems and their fellow countrymen as though they could do a better job if they were in office.

I learned something again though before I get to my favorite parts…I learned that people that project negativity do so, because they hate something in themselves.  I’m no exception…I’ve been known to harshly criticize someone or something, only to realize that I exhibit the same trait and really only hate that about myself.

So, no more listening to the assholes, defintely no support of Fox or anything Rupert Murdoch because they’re just too angry, and no more taking personally the words of people that are completely insecure with themselves.

Now, onto the highlights…

nancy-pelosiFirst, I don’t know Nancy Pelosi personally so I cannot talk about her as though I do, but I had motion sickness from all of her standing up and clapping.  Nothing wrong with showing support, but talk about giving new meaning to being a jack-in-the box.  Nancy, if you ever get the chance to read this, please wisely choose your standing points next time ok?

Some of the lines that I absolutely loved and remembered mostly because I do believe that if we all work at it, we can accomplish some very amazing things here:

“Take responsibility for our future once more”

“The most valuable skill you can sell is your knowledge”

“We cannot afford to govern out of anger or the politics of the moment”

“It’s not about helping banks, it’s about helping people”

“Dropping out of school is dropping out on your country”

“For seven years we have been a nation of war – no longer shall we hide the price”

I’m hopeful, to say the least – hopeful that we can make some great strides as a country and get over the petty in-fighting to truly be the United States of America.

Let’s see how the movie plays…

February 25, 2009 Posted by | Life In General, Politics | , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Proof that we’re in a recession…

First of all, thank you to everyone who commented on my “Think Twice” post!  I happen to be one of those ‘think-out-loud’ guys and in order for me to get through my s#?t, I have to either talk about it or write about it.  Much better spirits and I appreciate all of you.

Now on to the subject at hand…

I knew that things were getting tight financially for awhile, but then last night I realized that I’ve sunken to a new low even for my standards.  While doing all of my Facebook updates last night, ‘the other one’, despite being down the hall sends me a message on Facebook.  I don’t even remember what it was about, but it struck me funny at the very moment when I was taking a sip of my cherished Seagrams Grape vodka & soda; ultimately forcing me to spit half of my drink onto the monitor.

Here’s where the ‘down low’ comes in…I licked the vodka off the monitor.  I know what you’re thinking…what a sick, sick individual and you know what?  You’re right…but it’s a recession dammit and we have to conserve our cash flow.

One more thing;

I have a bone to pick with ABC Liquor.  Today I was sent by ‘the other one’ to go purchase our stockpile booze for armagaddeon stash and had a horrible realization.

You cannot hide, no matter how much you try, how much of a ‘boozer’ you are in ABC Liquor.  Do you know why?  It’s because they have ceramic tile floors with these highway lane-sized grout lines that do absolutely nothing to absorb the clickety clack of the shopping cart wheels as you zip around the store sniffing the alcohol-laden air.

To add insult to injury, we’ve been reduced to buying ‘jugs-o-wine’ as opposed to normal-people bottles with a cork thanks to the ‘R’ word.  So that means that while I’ve got 2 Volkswagon Beetle sized, screw-off cap bottles of wine accompanied by a larger than life, but it’s on sale bottle of Seagrams Grape Vodka (with last number redial) in my cart, everybody knows I’m coming and everybody knows I’ve obviously got a problem.

Hi, I’m Derek and I have to buy cheap wine and vodka thanks to the recession…

Now how many steps do I have to go?

February 20, 2009 Posted by | Funny, Life In General | , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Think Twice

No humor in this post, simply a statement from the heart.

Last night I spoke with my biological mother on the phone.  As has been the case many times in the past, the call ended unpleasantly.  Not because mean things were said from my end or hers for that matter.  It’s what wasn’t said.

I haven’t actually seen my biological parents in over 4 years now.  There isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t think about them or wonder if they’re alright.  But in our family’s case, religion has driven a wedge between family members that has been ongoing for the last 16 years or so .

I called them back after they had left me a voicemail on Saturday.  And if you’re wondering why I waited so long to return the call, it’s because I ultimately fear how the conversation will go – every time.  This one didn’t disappoint.

When I heard my mother’s voice, I actually started to cry because I miss her more than she’ll ever know.  And when she asked me what was wrong, I said that I just don’t understand how religion can come between a family and that I’m hurt by the fact that I don’t even know my parents.

She stopped me from talking the minute I brought up the religion which incidentally is Jehovah’s Witnesses and then she did what hurt the most…she didn’t say anything else.

My sister and I have gone through years of this back and forth, trying to establish some semblance of a relationship with the people that used to so proudly announce that “they brought us into this world”, but inevitably we are shuttered out of their lives for fear that we will be instrumental in them losing their faith.

Ironically, my sister is due to have a baby around the same time as my birthday this year and there is one thing I will make sure of…that the baby knows they are loved no matter who they choose to marry, their sexual orientation, their choice in clothes, music, religion or friends – people become products of their environment.  As that baby’s uncle, I’m accountable for my piece of his environment.

I have sat back for years silently watching so many claiming to be advocates for God discredit, disrespect, judge and say and do hurtful things to others all in the name of God.  All I can do is shake my head and wonder how on earth they can honestly feel like they’re doing the right thing.  It’s strange because I say I lost my faith at 16, but I sometimes wonder if I lost my faith in people instead of God.

It’s “The Other One’s” parents that I call mom & dad because they without question, stepped into that role for me without even being asked.  They’re there when I need them and even when I think I don’t.  They have been supportive and loving every step of the way for the 9 years that we’ve been together and for that I’m eternally grateful.

I titled this post “Think Twice” because this whole experience has taught me a thing or two.  It’s taught me to think twice before I just dismiss another human being.  I can’t possibly know what they’re going through at that very moment and my dismissal of them might be the very thing that sends them over some edge.  It’s taught me that if I have people in my life that care about me, think twice before I take that care for granted and do my best to always return it.

And last but not least, it’s taught me to think twice about love and mortality.  The reality is that there are only 2 guarantees in life – death and taxes.  Taxes are negotiable, dying is not.  50 years from now (with any luck), when all is said and done and I’m on my way to wherever it is that we go, will I be able to look back and say without question that I feel good about how I treated, loved and cared for others?

Because if I can’t say that unequivocally, there probably won’t be anybody there to listen anyway?

February 19, 2009 Posted by | Life In General | , , , , , | 10 Comments