Swimming In My Head…

diving in the deep end…

This One’s Gonna Be a ‘Doosey’

It has been a hot minute since I’ve written in my beloved blog and I’ve missed it.  Before I go any further…WTF, Gbu2, Brian, Sideon and Sammy – thank you for the emails and concern.  I’ve missed you guys too!

As Patsy said in AbFab ~ “I’m fine I’m just here with a sick friend” (internal laughter)

The reality is I’ve been absolutely consumed with a business retool/refocus and we’ve actually got some decent clients that require a good part of my time.  So, the reality is that I cannot complain because the good far out-ways the bad in this instance.

Now onto the all-important stuff…

Let’s see, I’ve been on Twitter so much that I dream in Twitter.  I literally have dreams where I’m responding to situations by tweeting a message in 140 characters or less.  It’s like a drug except that it doesn’t cause tooth loss.  The weight loss, sleeplessness, and paranoia are minor side effects that should simply be ignored due to the overwhelming good that Twitter can bring to one’s life.

I’ll admit that there are some real “ass-hats” (thanks Sammy25) out there that think they’re suddenly ‘Twitterstars’ or ‘Twelebrities’ (whichever floats your boat) and they’re really nothing more than hot-air filled pompous boneheads that like to hear themselves talk…except now they can see themselves talk.  But that’s what makes the Twitter experience what it is.  Can I hear a “block, block”?

I’m all about the visuals since I’m in the multimedia business and I thought that for every major point I discuss in this post, I’ll give you some visuals and some audio thrown in to keep it interesting.

For all of you that think us tweeters are crazy…here’s your proof that you’re only partially right.  If it wasn’t for our being crazy, who would entertain you?

Which now leads me to what I think should be the anthem (song) for all of us in the twitterdom on the pilgramage to the promised twitterverse…Don’t judge me!

Oh, I’m not even close to being finished…then there’s Facebook……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Sorry, I must’ve drifted off post while I was updating my Facebook status.

You know what?  I’ll save my ‘Facebookapades’ for another post.  In the meantime…one more good piece of media.  I’m completely addicted to this somewhat recent remix of an old favorite – “Silence (Niels Van Gogh Vs. Thomas Gold Mix 2008)” by Delirium featuring Sarah Mclachlan.  It’s been on repeat the entire time I’ve been writing this post and between my tweets, status updates, pings, diggs, stumbleupons, flocks, this blog and the damn beats – it’s time for me to bid you farewell until tomorrow for which I’m scheduled to write yet another post right before my nail appointment.  I’m having them optimized for enhanced keyboard use.

April 9, 2009 Posted by | Funny, Life In General | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Proof that we’re in a recession…

First of all, thank you to everyone who commented on my “Think Twice” post!  I happen to be one of those ‘think-out-loud’ guys and in order for me to get through my s#?t, I have to either talk about it or write about it.  Much better spirits and I appreciate all of you.

Now on to the subject at hand…

I knew that things were getting tight financially for awhile, but then last night I realized that I’ve sunken to a new low even for my standards.  While doing all of my Facebook updates last night, ‘the other one’, despite being down the hall sends me a message on Facebook.  I don’t even remember what it was about, but it struck me funny at the very moment when I was taking a sip of my cherished Seagrams Grape vodka & soda; ultimately forcing me to spit half of my drink onto the monitor.

Here’s where the ‘down low’ comes in…I licked the vodka off the monitor.  I know what you’re thinking…what a sick, sick individual and you know what?  You’re right…but it’s a recession dammit and we have to conserve our cash flow.

One more thing;

I have a bone to pick with ABC Liquor.  Today I was sent by ‘the other one’ to go purchase our stockpile booze for armagaddeon stash and had a horrible realization.

You cannot hide, no matter how much you try, how much of a ‘boozer’ you are in ABC Liquor.  Do you know why?  It’s because they have ceramic tile floors with these highway lane-sized grout lines that do absolutely nothing to absorb the clickety clack of the shopping cart wheels as you zip around the store sniffing the alcohol-laden air.

To add insult to injury, we’ve been reduced to buying ‘jugs-o-wine’ as opposed to normal-people bottles with a cork thanks to the ‘R’ word.  So that means that while I’ve got 2 Volkswagon Beetle sized, screw-off cap bottles of wine accompanied by a larger than life, but it’s on sale bottle of Seagrams Grape Vodka (with last number redial) in my cart, everybody knows I’m coming and everybody knows I’ve obviously got a problem.

Hi, I’m Derek and I have to buy cheap wine and vodka thanks to the recession…

Now how many steps do I have to go?

February 20, 2009 Posted by | Funny, Life In General | , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Oh great…I passed the test…

So, I’m writing this right before I leave to check myself into (shhh, I have to whisper this) the Betty Ford Clinic.  You see, my ‘blogmily’ member gbu2 wrote the most interesting post yesterday: Do You Think Like a Serial Killer.

And well, I just found out I do apparently.  Since I’ve got so many other shall we say, challenging compulsions, I figure I’ll just kill 22 birds with one rehab and ask at the desk whether they can treat me for this new found cerebral ability too.

Amy Winehouse has nothing on me I guess.

My new uniform

My new uniform

Anyhew, on to other news in my ever-so-exciting existence…

Last night, while we were having dinner, we stumbled across the movie “The Messengers” on Starz and watched the tail end.  I had forgotten that it was one of those movies that gives me those little prickly chills throughout my body at various times.

So, in one particularly prickly part, this is the conversation that transpired between me and ‘The Other One’ written in true gbu2 style:

Me:  I forgot how much this movie scared me.

The Other One:  How scared does it make you?

Me:  Like a really chubby kid in a grocery store that only sells rice cakes.

For the visual...

For the visual...

Me & The Other One:  (Silence for 3 seconds while the visual kicks in) ——————————>

Me & The Other One:  (Uncontrollable laughter)

Me:  (Between hearty laughs) Who am I kidding…like me in a grocery store that only sells rice cakes.

And that “friends” is all for today…

February 12, 2009 Posted by | Funny, Movies, Really?, Television | , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

2 Week Recap

Just a quick little catch-up post to get me back in the good graces of my blogosphere friends that I miss desperately (WTF, Good Bad & Ugly, Presque Isle Files, Sideon’s Sanctuary, In Repair, and Whisper in the Void:

– I have admittedly been lured away by Facebook and Twitter.  Not because I don’t love blogging – I totally do, but it’s just so much easier to say whatever the hell it is that’s on my mind in 140 characters or less.

– I’ve been defriended/unfriended by 2 people on Facebook so far and lord only knows why…but you know what?  Good riddance and lucky for them I didn’t  open a whole ‘can-o-punch them in the throat’ on them.  Okay?

– I have re-tooled my business model like 42 times to get through this unfortunate little sit-chee-a-shun called a recession and I’m still not rich…time to go back to the drawing board or the cookie jar…whichever is more lucrative.

– I have banned peanut butter from my life and the lives of the people that I love – something about salmonella, but I only looked at the picture and didn’t read the full story, so if that’s not the right stance to be taking currently, please disregard this particular status update.

– I have not worn long johns under shorts in a whole week, but that’s not to say that it won’t happen again because Florida has become Freezida this year.

– Had an awesome Super Bowl party!  It was great having it here in Tampa and I’m sorry gbu2 about the Cards…but y’all gave it a good shot and made for a nail-biting game.  Didn’t meet 1 celebrity, nor did I try…but in the movie constantly playing in my head, I was doing the VIP room thing at all the clubs.  I’m ok with the fact that I’m occasionally delusional, so don’t feel sorry for me…

– What else?  Let’s see…I haven’t watched the news in a good month.  I’m tired of hearing the anti-American sentiments of those that want to see failure of the new administration.  Somehow I’ve missed the connection between love of country and willful wishes of failure for the group trying to pull us out of this train wreck that is our current economy.  I’m specifically referring to that big-foreheaded, bald, thunder-chunky whose name I will not mention so as to give him undeserved press.  I’ve renamed him ‘Blitz Extremitybaugh’ and that “my friends” is what’s been going on while I was away from the blog…

Lastly, a friend of mine posted this on Facebook and it makes me laugh everytime – only because it’s happened more times than I’d like to remember, but being able to laugh about something can certainly make it a little easier to deal with:

February 11, 2009 Posted by | Funny, Life In General, Politics, Sports | , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Rockin’ it Florida style…

So it dropped to 27 balmy degrees last night here in Florida.  Our poor palm trees have sheets on them.  I left the northeast to get away from this, but alas global warming is playing an April Fool’s joke early and chillin’ the U.S. like a villain.

What does a Floridian do when it’s that cold here and most of their winter clothes were given to Goodwill in Philadelphia?

Improvise – so, to my friends GBU2 and Sideon…here’s the photos you requested.  If you’d like to use them on the cover of one of your next magazines, just call my agent at the Monte Carlo number (123) 456-7890.

Long johns & cargo shorts - it's the look

Long johns & cargo shorts - it's the look

Warm, yet practical for the Florida lifestyle

Warm, yet practical for the Florida lifestyle

January 22, 2009 Posted by | Funny, Life In General, photos | , , , , , | 6 Comments