Swimming In My Head…

diving in the deep end…

Proof that we’re in a recession…

First of all, thank you to everyone who commented on my “Think Twice” post!  I happen to be one of those ‘think-out-loud’ guys and in order for me to get through my s#?t, I have to either talk about it or write about it.  Much better spirits and I appreciate all of you.

Now on to the subject at hand…

I knew that things were getting tight financially for awhile, but then last night I realized that I’ve sunken to a new low even for my standards.  While doing all of my Facebook updates last night, ‘the other one’, despite being down the hall sends me a message on Facebook.  I don’t even remember what it was about, but it struck me funny at the very moment when I was taking a sip of my cherished Seagrams Grape vodka & soda; ultimately forcing me to spit half of my drink onto the monitor.

Here’s where the ‘down low’ comes in…I licked the vodka off the monitor.  I know what you’re thinking…what a sick, sick individual and you know what?  You’re right…but it’s a recession dammit and we have to conserve our cash flow.

One more thing;

I have a bone to pick with ABC Liquor.  Today I was sent by ‘the other one’ to go purchase our stockpile booze for armagaddeon stash and had a horrible realization.

You cannot hide, no matter how much you try, how much of a ‘boozer’ you are in ABC Liquor.  Do you know why?  It’s because they have ceramic tile floors with these highway lane-sized grout lines that do absolutely nothing to absorb the clickety clack of the shopping cart wheels as you zip around the store sniffing the alcohol-laden air.

To add insult to injury, we’ve been reduced to buying ‘jugs-o-wine’ as opposed to normal-people bottles with a cork thanks to the ‘R’ word.  So that means that while I’ve got 2 Volkswagon Beetle sized, screw-off cap bottles of wine accompanied by a larger than life, but it’s on sale bottle of Seagrams Grape Vodka (with last number redial) in my cart, everybody knows I’m coming and everybody knows I’ve obviously got a problem.

Hi, I’m Derek and I have to buy cheap wine and vodka thanks to the recession…

Now how many steps do I have to go?

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February 20, 2009 Posted by | Funny, Life In General | , , , , , , , | 10 Comments