Swimming In My Head…

diving in the deep end…

A statement about the state of the nation…

I reluctantly watched the state of the nation last night and was actually very moved.  I was reluctant because for whatever reasons, I’ve got a complete and almost paralyzing fear of what will happen if President Obama ends up doing what most other politicians doing – making a lot of promises and not delivering.

My mistake was watching the address on the CNN/Facebook collaboration.  What I observed was interesting however.  There were obviously a lot of supporters, but there were still those disgusting jerks who had to make their hateful comments about Dems and their fellow countrymen as though they could do a better job if they were in office.

I learned something again though before I get to my favorite parts…I learned that people that project negativity do so, because they hate something in themselves.  I’m no exception…I’ve been known to harshly criticize someone or something, only to realize that I exhibit the same trait and really only hate that about myself.

So, no more listening to the assholes, defintely no support of Fox or anything Rupert Murdoch because they’re just too angry, and no more taking personally the words of people that are completely insecure with themselves.

Now, onto the highlights…

nancy-pelosiFirst, I don’t know Nancy Pelosi personally so I cannot talk about her as though I do, but I had motion sickness from all of her standing up and clapping.  Nothing wrong with showing support, but talk about giving new meaning to being a jack-in-the box.  Nancy, if you ever get the chance to read this, please wisely choose your standing points next time ok?

Some of the lines that I absolutely loved and remembered mostly because I do believe that if we all work at it, we can accomplish some very amazing things here:

“Take responsibility for our future once more”

“The most valuable skill you can sell is your knowledge”

“We cannot afford to govern out of anger or the politics of the moment”

“It’s not about helping banks, it’s about helping people”

“Dropping out of school is dropping out on your country”

“For seven years we have been a nation of war – no longer shall we hide the price”

I’m hopeful, to say the least – hopeful that we can make some great strides as a country and get over the petty in-fighting to truly be the United States of America.

Let’s see how the movie plays…

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February 25, 2009 Posted by | Life In General, Politics | , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Proof that we’re in a recession…

First of all, thank you to everyone who commented on my “Think Twice” post!  I happen to be one of those ‘think-out-loud’ guys and in order for me to get through my s#?t, I have to either talk about it or write about it.  Much better spirits and I appreciate all of you.

Now on to the subject at hand…

I knew that things were getting tight financially for awhile, but then last night I realized that I’ve sunken to a new low even for my standards.  While doing all of my Facebook updates last night, ‘the other one’, despite being down the hall sends me a message on Facebook.  I don’t even remember what it was about, but it struck me funny at the very moment when I was taking a sip of my cherished Seagrams Grape vodka & soda; ultimately forcing me to spit half of my drink onto the monitor.

Here’s where the ‘down low’ comes in…I licked the vodka off the monitor.  I know what you’re thinking…what a sick, sick individual and you know what?  You’re right…but it’s a recession dammit and we have to conserve our cash flow.

One more thing;

I have a bone to pick with ABC Liquor.  Today I was sent by ‘the other one’ to go purchase our stockpile booze for armagaddeon stash and had a horrible realization.

You cannot hide, no matter how much you try, how much of a ‘boozer’ you are in ABC Liquor.  Do you know why?  It’s because they have ceramic tile floors with these highway lane-sized grout lines that do absolutely nothing to absorb the clickety clack of the shopping cart wheels as you zip around the store sniffing the alcohol-laden air.

To add insult to injury, we’ve been reduced to buying ‘jugs-o-wine’ as opposed to normal-people bottles with a cork thanks to the ‘R’ word.  So that means that while I’ve got 2 Volkswagon Beetle sized, screw-off cap bottles of wine accompanied by a larger than life, but it’s on sale bottle of Seagrams Grape Vodka (with last number redial) in my cart, everybody knows I’m coming and everybody knows I’ve obviously got a problem.

Hi, I’m Derek and I have to buy cheap wine and vodka thanks to the recession…

Now how many steps do I have to go?

February 20, 2009 Posted by | Funny, Life In General | , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Think Twice

No humor in this post, simply a statement from the heart.

Last night I spoke with my biological mother on the phone.  As has been the case many times in the past, the call ended unpleasantly.  Not because mean things were said from my end or hers for that matter.  It’s what wasn’t said.

I haven’t actually seen my biological parents in over 4 years now.  There isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t think about them or wonder if they’re alright.  But in our family’s case, religion has driven a wedge between family members that has been ongoing for the last 16 years or so .

I called them back after they had left me a voicemail on Saturday.  And if you’re wondering why I waited so long to return the call, it’s because I ultimately fear how the conversation will go – every time.  This one didn’t disappoint.

When I heard my mother’s voice, I actually started to cry because I miss her more than she’ll ever know.  And when she asked me what was wrong, I said that I just don’t understand how religion can come between a family and that I’m hurt by the fact that I don’t even know my parents.

She stopped me from talking the minute I brought up the religion which incidentally is Jehovah’s Witnesses and then she did what hurt the most…she didn’t say anything else.

My sister and I have gone through years of this back and forth, trying to establish some semblance of a relationship with the people that used to so proudly announce that “they brought us into this world”, but inevitably we are shuttered out of their lives for fear that we will be instrumental in them losing their faith.

Ironically, my sister is due to have a baby around the same time as my birthday this year and there is one thing I will make sure of…that the baby knows they are loved no matter who they choose to marry, their sexual orientation, their choice in clothes, music, religion or friends – people become products of their environment.  As that baby’s uncle, I’m accountable for my piece of his environment.

I have sat back for years silently watching so many claiming to be advocates for God discredit, disrespect, judge and say and do hurtful things to others all in the name of God.  All I can do is shake my head and wonder how on earth they can honestly feel like they’re doing the right thing.  It’s strange because I say I lost my faith at 16, but I sometimes wonder if I lost my faith in people instead of God.

It’s “The Other One’s” parents that I call mom & dad because they without question, stepped into that role for me without even being asked.  They’re there when I need them and even when I think I don’t.  They have been supportive and loving every step of the way for the 9 years that we’ve been together and for that I’m eternally grateful.

I titled this post “Think Twice” because this whole experience has taught me a thing or two.  It’s taught me to think twice before I just dismiss another human being.  I can’t possibly know what they’re going through at that very moment and my dismissal of them might be the very thing that sends them over some edge.  It’s taught me that if I have people in my life that care about me, think twice before I take that care for granted and do my best to always return it.

And last but not least, it’s taught me to think twice about love and mortality.  The reality is that there are only 2 guarantees in life – death and taxes.  Taxes are negotiable, dying is not.  50 years from now (with any luck), when all is said and done and I’m on my way to wherever it is that we go, will I be able to look back and say without question that I feel good about how I treated, loved and cared for others?

Because if I can’t say that unequivocally, there probably won’t be anybody there to listen anyway?

February 19, 2009 Posted by | Life In General | , , , , , | 10 Comments

Oh great…I passed the test…

So, I’m writing this right before I leave to check myself into (shhh, I have to whisper this) the Betty Ford Clinic.  You see, my ‘blogmily’ member gbu2 wrote the most interesting post yesterday: Do You Think Like a Serial Killer.

And well, I just found out I do apparently.  Since I’ve got so many other shall we say, challenging compulsions, I figure I’ll just kill 22 birds with one rehab and ask at the desk whether they can treat me for this new found cerebral ability too.

Amy Winehouse has nothing on me I guess.

My new uniform

My new uniform

Anyhew, on to other news in my ever-so-exciting existence…

Last night, while we were having dinner, we stumbled across the movie “The Messengers” on Starz and watched the tail end.  I had forgotten that it was one of those movies that gives me those little prickly chills throughout my body at various times.

So, in one particularly prickly part, this is the conversation that transpired between me and ‘The Other One’ written in true gbu2 style:

Me:  I forgot how much this movie scared me.

The Other One:  How scared does it make you?

Me:  Like a really chubby kid in a grocery store that only sells rice cakes.

For the visual...

For the visual...

Me & The Other One:  (Silence for 3 seconds while the visual kicks in) ——————————>

Me & The Other One:  (Uncontrollable laughter)

Me:  (Between hearty laughs) Who am I kidding…like me in a grocery store that only sells rice cakes.

And that “friends” is all for today…

February 12, 2009 Posted by | Funny, Movies, Really?, Television | , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

2 Week Recap

Just a quick little catch-up post to get me back in the good graces of my blogosphere friends that I miss desperately (WTF, Good Bad & Ugly, Presque Isle Files, Sideon’s Sanctuary, In Repair, and Whisper in the Void:

– I have admittedly been lured away by Facebook and Twitter.  Not because I don’t love blogging – I totally do, but it’s just so much easier to say whatever the hell it is that’s on my mind in 140 characters or less.

– I’ve been defriended/unfriended by 2 people on Facebook so far and lord only knows why…but you know what?  Good riddance and lucky for them I didn’t  open a whole ‘can-o-punch them in the throat’ on them.  Okay?

– I have re-tooled my business model like 42 times to get through this unfortunate little sit-chee-a-shun called a recession and I’m still not rich…time to go back to the drawing board or the cookie jar…whichever is more lucrative.

– I have banned peanut butter from my life and the lives of the people that I love – something about salmonella, but I only looked at the picture and didn’t read the full story, so if that’s not the right stance to be taking currently, please disregard this particular status update.

– I have not worn long johns under shorts in a whole week, but that’s not to say that it won’t happen again because Florida has become Freezida this year.

– Had an awesome Super Bowl party!  It was great having it here in Tampa and I’m sorry gbu2 about the Cards…but y’all gave it a good shot and made for a nail-biting game.  Didn’t meet 1 celebrity, nor did I try…but in the movie constantly playing in my head, I was doing the VIP room thing at all the clubs.  I’m ok with the fact that I’m occasionally delusional, so don’t feel sorry for me…

– What else?  Let’s see…I haven’t watched the news in a good month.  I’m tired of hearing the anti-American sentiments of those that want to see failure of the new administration.  Somehow I’ve missed the connection between love of country and willful wishes of failure for the group trying to pull us out of this train wreck that is our current economy.  I’m specifically referring to that big-foreheaded, bald, thunder-chunky whose name I will not mention so as to give him undeserved press.  I’ve renamed him ‘Blitz Extremitybaugh’ and that “my friends” is what’s been going on while I was away from the blog…

Lastly, a friend of mine posted this on Facebook and it makes me laugh everytime – only because it’s happened more times than I’d like to remember, but being able to laugh about something can certainly make it a little easier to deal with:

February 11, 2009 Posted by | Funny, Life In General, Politics, Sports | , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments