Swimming In My Head…

diving in the deep end…

Cease & ‘Destop’

So, ‘the other one’ and I have been on a little health kick lately and have been adding more protein and fiber to our diet in addition to our regular visits to the gym.

This morning, we received an urgent letter from our master bathroom demanding that we cease and desist usage of the quickly deteriorating room immediately.  You see we both made 3 frantic trips each to that room this morning.  Each time, feeling much better and lighter than the last, but leaving behind a trail of destruction unseen since D-Day.

Knowledge comes at a price – we know this now.  So, we thought it only fitting to share the knowledge that we’ve gained about the ‘silent bloater’…FIBER (it’s evil).

Menu yesterday…

Breakfast – Chewy Fiber One Fiber Bar & strawberry yogurt
Snack – 10 almonds
Lunch – Black Beans & Rice & Chewy Fiber One Fiber Bar (for something sweet & yummy, yet healthy)
Snack – 10 Wheat Thins 5-Grain Fiber crackers
Dinner – Chicken fingers, salad & for dessert, you guessed it…a Chewy Fiber One Fiber Bar (what the hell were we thinking?)

Sleeping conditions…

Nonexistent.  Subject, despite being male, has rounded stomach like pregnant woman and strange gurgling noises and movement like baby kicking.  Seems to have internal ability to produce fossil fuels with which to power heavy machinery.  Has managed to burn eyebrows and all other body hair off  with each ‘expelation’ of internal fossil fuels.  Ceiling fan detached from ceiling from unexplained, instantaneous corrosion.

Prefer pictures to understand how NOT to make the same mistake we did?  Here you go:

what-not-to-eat-in-one-day

Equals….

preparation-h

Save yourselves!  Please don’t make the same mistake we did!

And to all a good night…

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December 10, 2008 - Posted by | Funny, Life In General | , , , ,

7 Comments »

  1. ha ha OUCH…that toilet must not be pretty! 🙂

    Comment by goodbadandugly2 | December 10, 2008

  2. OMG!! Is it bad that I found this hysterical?

    Comment by Brian | December 10, 2008

  3. gbu2 – toilet didn’t crack and therefore we won’t sue.

    Brian – it’s all good…we’re laughing about it too – now. 😉

    Comment by deek1973 | December 11, 2008

  4. What more can be said!? 😉

    Comment by The Other One | December 11, 2008

  5. omg that’s a mess LOL

    Comment by sammy25 | December 11, 2008

  6. ohmygosh…i almost peed my pants. you are only supposed to have a certain percentage of fiber and it’s best in the morning.

    Comment by Xavier | December 11, 2008

  7. The Other One – a lot more could be said…but in the interests of preserving your privacy…i stuck to the facts…just the facts. 😉

    sammy25 – you are absolutely right – a mess, a hot mess.

    Xavier – you too are correct. i have officially learned my lesson about gov’t recommended daily allowances and as a good citizen will abide by those rules going forward. Trust me! lol

    Comment by deek1973 | December 11, 2008


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